It is with a heavy heart and no small amount of disgust that I sit at my keyboard today. With a pile of work that needs finishing, my thoughts are held captive by the incident I witnessed last night.
After over a decade in the service industry, either serving drinks or dealing cards, I've seen my share of human behavior. I would never be so brazen as to claim that I've seen it all, but I tell you my friends, I have seen a LOT. Last night turned my stomach.
Late in the evening, after many bars hopped and many drinks had, a clean cut young man approached a female and her friend at the bar. He made a drunken remark to one of them in regards to her non-white descent. He proceeded to another female, also of non-white descent, and addressed her in an unseemly manor. He asked her name and race. Not being the shy type, the female responded and was met promptly with a racial slur and a punch to the face. Chaos erupted in the bar, as friends of either party and bystanders jumped into the scuffle. Shirts were torn off and punches were thrown. Efforts by the bar staff to get the offender to leave were unsuccessful, and the police were called. The young man was arrested and charges will be pressed.
Bar fights are a dime a dozen in my world, but never in my LIFE have I seen something so disgraceful as that drunk piece of garbage standing in the doorway of the bar with his friends holding him back, after having assaulted a woman, hurling racial slurs and screaming, "I'm a United States Marine!"
Wow. A United States Marine. Really? Now, I'm not so naive as to think that every American soldier is an angel in uniform. But on the heels of a holiday that was created in order to honor the fallen service men and women who gave their lives to ensure the safety and freedom of others, this behavior is indescribably disgusting. After the smoke cleared, Facebook-stalking of the assaulter commenced. Sure enough, there he was: smiling wide in his impeccably pressed uniform, with his mother glowing proudly his side. I wonder how proud she would have been of his behavior last night? Scrolling through his posts, I came across a hateful piece of art (slurring multiple religions, Asians, and transgenders) that he deemed "hilarious" in his comments, and updated to his cover photo.
I am without speech.
I don't know what kind of consequences a staff Sargent may face after having been arrested for disorderly conduct in this manner, but I hope they are severe. "Conduct unbecoming of an officer" is a thing, right? For in my eyes, this man has disgraced his uniform, his family, and his country. I may not be much for politics, but I am a proud American. I am proud that this country fought for its own freedom from tyranny, and built itself into that most powerful nation in the world. I am proud that millions of people have come here to build a new and better life. And I am proud that after 240 years we are still striving to be a better society, evolving our laws, lives and hearts. Growing and changing our perspectives in hopes to one day grasp the happiness we have been granted the freedom to pursue.
North Dakota housewife by day, pole dancer by afternoon, blackjack dealer by night. A chronicle of my mid-life crisis (and other tales).
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
No. I don't post pictures of my kid on Facebook.
I've been asked on more than one occasion why I rarely post pictures of my kid on Facebook. As though I am somehow lacking as a mother for having deprived the world of his cuteness. "That's what Facebook is for!" [shrug]. I don't know, is it? Because I thought Facebook was a tool to be used for my own amusement, in whatever way I see fit. Whether it be to blast my selfies out into the world, to share eye-rolling memes, or to promote my business.
There are three reasons that I keep photos of my son to a minimum on Facebook.
1) There is more to my life than being someone's mom.
I love my son, obviously. He's adorable and ridiculous, and even when he sucks he somehow finds a way to make my day. :) However, I am still ME. I have my own thoughts, opinions, and activities. I am a grown woman with a multi-faceted career, and every day in my life is an adventure, just the way I like it. My son is part of that adventure, but he's far from the only ride in this carnival.
2) Because, creepers.
Of my 380 "friends" on Facebook, many of them have never actually met my son in real life. I was eating at a restaurant once, when a young woman (whom I did not recognize) came in with a child that looked strangely familiar. I spent the majority of my meal staring at them, trying to figure out who they were. Eventually another young woman arrived, whom I recognized (despite the fact that I had never met her) as the ex-wife of an acquaintance that I hadn't seen more than a couple of times over the past 5 years. The child was their son, whom I had only ever seen on Facebook. I found it unnerving to think that I could be sitting in a restaurant with my son, and some weirdo whom I had never even met could be staring at us from across the room, knowing exactly who we are. Even though I was the weirdo in this scenario, it didn't sit well with me at all. I don't see any reason that strangers should be able to pick my kid out of a crowd. After all, many of my Facebook friends are co-workers, acquaintances, old high school buddies, business contacts, and friends of friends. How well do we really know our "friends"?
3) It's all about me.
My Facebook is my Facebook. I choose what to post. No one gets to tell me that I post too much of one thing, or not enough of another. When someone starts to post too many political opinions that don't align with my beliefs, or one too many pictures of whatever they're having for dinner that night, I can choose to ignore, unfollow, or unfriend. I am totally guilty of hiding the feed of persons unnamed who post nothing but pictures of their children. I want to message them and say, "Don't you have a life of your own?" But who am I to say what they should or shouldn't post on their Facebook. Because it's their Facebook. It exists as a tool for their own enjoyment, as much as my Facebook exists simply to amuse me.
The great joy in all of this is that not only can we choose what we post on Facebook, we can also choose what we see. I am constantly adding, deleting, friending, unfriending, and unfollowing. It's really nothing personal, it's just Facebook. :) The bottom line is, if you want to see my kiddo smile, come on over and bring him a present. Heck. Bring me one, too!
There are three reasons that I keep photos of my son to a minimum on Facebook.
1) There is more to my life than being someone's mom.
I love my son, obviously. He's adorable and ridiculous, and even when he sucks he somehow finds a way to make my day. :) However, I am still ME. I have my own thoughts, opinions, and activities. I am a grown woman with a multi-faceted career, and every day in my life is an adventure, just the way I like it. My son is part of that adventure, but he's far from the only ride in this carnival.
2) Because, creepers.
Of my 380 "friends" on Facebook, many of them have never actually met my son in real life. I was eating at a restaurant once, when a young woman (whom I did not recognize) came in with a child that looked strangely familiar. I spent the majority of my meal staring at them, trying to figure out who they were. Eventually another young woman arrived, whom I recognized (despite the fact that I had never met her) as the ex-wife of an acquaintance that I hadn't seen more than a couple of times over the past 5 years. The child was their son, whom I had only ever seen on Facebook. I found it unnerving to think that I could be sitting in a restaurant with my son, and some weirdo whom I had never even met could be staring at us from across the room, knowing exactly who we are. Even though I was the weirdo in this scenario, it didn't sit well with me at all. I don't see any reason that strangers should be able to pick my kid out of a crowd. After all, many of my Facebook friends are co-workers, acquaintances, old high school buddies, business contacts, and friends of friends. How well do we really know our "friends"?
3) It's all about me.
My Facebook is my Facebook. I choose what to post. No one gets to tell me that I post too much of one thing, or not enough of another. When someone starts to post too many political opinions that don't align with my beliefs, or one too many pictures of whatever they're having for dinner that night, I can choose to ignore, unfollow, or unfriend. I am totally guilty of hiding the feed of persons unnamed who post nothing but pictures of their children. I want to message them and say, "Don't you have a life of your own?" But who am I to say what they should or shouldn't post on their Facebook. Because it's their Facebook. It exists as a tool for their own enjoyment, as much as my Facebook exists simply to amuse me.
The great joy in all of this is that not only can we choose what we post on Facebook, we can also choose what we see. I am constantly adding, deleting, friending, unfriending, and unfollowing. It's really nothing personal, it's just Facebook. :) The bottom line is, if you want to see my kiddo smile, come on over and bring him a present. Heck. Bring me one, too!
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